Strategic Emotion

One of my direct reports was laid off due to a company reduction in force.

I felt two strong emotions in the aftermath: anger and sadness.

I was angry at my company causing it and sad for my team member who now needed to find a job in 60 days.

What do I do with these emotions?

Do I lash out in anger, risking my relationships with the people I work with?

Do I stifle my emotions, acting like the situation doesn't bother me?

There are many ways I can express myself in this situation and the path I choose is determined by my goals.

I need to use Strategic Emotion.

What is Strategic Emotion?

Strategic Emotion is the process of choosing and expressing an emotion to help you accomplish an objective.

It's the process of using your emotions as tool to help you grow your career.

Do you need to build a relationship, express your disagreement, or get promoted? Use your emotions as a tool.

Don't let your emotions rule you, let them help you win.

How to use Strategic Emotion

Before every interaction with another person, consider the emotion that will help you achieve your goal.

Then, actively express that emotion during your interaction.

Sometimes you want to express the emotion that you're actually feeling. Other times you should express a different emotion, maybe even the opposite of what you're currently feeling.

This is an art. You need to implement Strategic Emotion frequently to find the techniques that work for you.

The more you use it the better you'll get.

How to express an emotion

Strategic Emotion doesn't work if you can't express emotions effectively.

You need to use all your tools at your disposal: tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, language, etc.

Here are some emotions and the physical tools that support them:

• Stoic. Upright posture, matter-of-factness, balanced delivery.
• Anger. Shaking of your head, furrowed brows, sharp tone of voice.
• Sadness. Slumped posture, looking at the ground, frowning.
• Stress. Head in hands, face-palm, erratic speech, audible sighs.
• Excitement. Wide eyes, high tone of voice, upright posture, smiling.
• Calmness. Regulated speech, neutral tone of voice, strategic pauses.

You can't frown if you want to display excitement and you can't raise your voice if you want to display calmness.

Your physical signals are the most potent way to communicate your emotions.

Examples of Strategic Emotion

Here are a few examples to show you how to be strategic in different situations:

• Team member gets laid off.
  • Frustration to your boss to express that you're not happy with the situation.
  • Stoic to your team members to reduce stress.
  • Sadness to the impacted person to show that you care.
• You don't get promoted.
  • Calmness to show your boss that you don't get flustered when you don't get what you want.
• You and/or your team is overloaded with work.
  • Stress to signal to your boss that the workload is not manageable and will lead to burnout.
  • Frustration to your team members to signal that you can relate and understand the team is overloaded.

No matter the situation you're in, you have the opportunity to use your emotions to your benefit.

"Don't be so emotional" is bad advice.

Be emotional, strategically.